Secrets Of Me [XX] Version 16 ; Simplicity

Saturday, November 10, 2007

101107 -- Whatever.

tunes; Dance of Death - Iron Maiden [How Ironic]
chat; No One, Not In The Fucking Mood.
feeling; Nil.
entry ;

I've been so pessimistic lately.. have i not? well Its not like i have anything to look forward to.
- I'm getting older
- I'm still treated like a 10 year old at home
- I'm not allowed out, thus, I have hardly a social life any more
- I shouldn't have to skip school just to spend time with my friends.
- My mum is a fucking hypocrite
- HSC is coming up
- I'm fucking stupid so i'm gonna get no where in life.
- Then after i fail mums gonna be like 'WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I DIDNT GO OUT BLAH BLAH BLAH' says the woman who said she did drugs in high-school.

Some things i cant stop. hell, most things i cant stop. but WHAT THE FUCK about my mum. fucking honestly. shes such a fucking hypocrite. and it fucking pisses me off.
She doesnt want me to go out ANYWHERE, shes afraid something may happen to me. she wont know where i am and what i am doing.
1. there is such thing as a MOBILE PHONE. and i am STUCK TO IT. as if i wouldnt fucking answer it.
2. she always fucking goes out with her motherfucking boyfriend. do we know where she is? no. do we know what shes doing? no. does she ever pick up her fucking phone when shes with him? NO FUCKING NO. 'We're doing work' MOTHER FUCKING BULLSHIT. BIGGEST MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT. HE DOESNT WORK WITH YOU. HE'S AN OUTTA WORK, ON-THE-DOLL LOUNGER.

I just don't wanna be home at all anymore. I fucking hate it. What the hell am I doing the HSC for? MYSELF. Not so that I can Buy a million dollar car or a mansion for my mum. If anyone, I'd buy all that for my dad. cause he's the supportive one. but he's such a PUSH OVER when it comes to my mum. He does everything she says, and actually LISTENS to her.
What The Fuck was he thinking bringing her here from over seas. was he out of his fucking mind! fuck honestly. Now he has the shittiest life. I do feel sorry for him.. He deserves so much better, he is a brilliant man. Having a first wife that passes away, then a second wife who uses him for a selfish benefactor. Herself. She should go back to the sugar cane fields where she belongs. and shes focusing so much on my weight that she wants me to work out more than study! Then where she doesnt see me with a book in front of my face, she gives me the hugest fucking mouthful 'YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING, WHEN YOU FAIL IM GONNA SEND YOU TO THE PHILLIPINES' WTF no. Just Kick Me out. I'll be the happiest person alive. If there is anything left of me that is.

Fuck. I Am The Spawn Of Satan.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday, Diana came over, then Vu and Tony Popped by With Food and Slurpees. of course i wasn't allowed to go with them, since my dad is under the watchful eye of the devil. Diana shoulda went with them. She only stayed back cause of me. God, I'm a drag. Shes 14! Correction. 15, and Shes allowed out whenever blah blah. I'm hitting 17 and I'm treated as If i'm going to infect everyone with a disease. I Hate Jealousy. I'm so consumed by it.

i don't really feel like blogging anymore. i'm off.

Assignments TO DO:
* SOCIETY & CULTURE; PIP Speech- 0% Finished [                               ]
* SOCIETY & CULTURE; PIP- 1% Finished [|                              ]
* MUSIC; Performance- 99% Finished [||||||||||||||||||||] Chosen Song, Need To Talk To Miss About It
* ENGLISH; Journey's Binder Folder Task- 0% Finished [                   ]
* LEGAL; Human Rights Assessment- 0% Finished [                   ]
* BIOLOGY; Model Assignment- 0% Finished [                   ]

plus, Oddles of Noodles of Homework

Whatever. xx SONJA

Currently listening to:
Dance of Death
By Iron Maiden

Currently reading:
Black Juice (Michael L Printz Honor Book (Awards))
By Margo Lanagan

Posted at Saturday, November 10, 2007 by sonnysonson

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